There’s nothing worse than knowing that you want to have your cake and eat it, too.
That’s a frequently used/heard statement but I don’t know if I’ve ever thought about what it means.
If I eat my cake, there is no more cake; if I hold onto my cake, put in display for all to see, there’s no possibility of eating my cake.
If you want a beanstalk you have to plant your beans.
Maybe that’s the crux of the mid-life crisis…knowing you get one or the other.
If you’ve been at something professionally for 15 or so years, do you set it aside and pursue a dream; do you keep your integrity in check and be authentic or do you fake it till you make it…make it through the moment of crisis and indecision…maybe.
Do you chase the dream or leave it on the shelf?
Chasing the dream is full of risk and throws the security of a good career to the wind; putting it on the shelf, leaving it on the shelf…that only leaves restlessness and discontent.
“This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away, to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was, hmm? What he was doing. Hmm. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things.” (Master Yoda)
And that’s the struggle. I know that chasing dreams is anything but an exciting adventure. I know that dreams come at a cost, but are ultimately fulfilling at the cellular (soul-ular(?)) level.
Either way, I still need to wait until we get back stateside in about a month. At this point I’m just processing a casey jones-ish train of thought.